Joke Wielding Preacher Pillows

'Man, I'm bombing,'

Chase me, chase me cows.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Excommunicate Me.

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

Easter bunny

"Please rise."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Church sign.

Early Ram Raids

"Let's work on opening up that fourth chakra."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

"According to scripture, Jesus can see you sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you're bad or good. So be... Oops... Never mind... I was thinking of a different deity."

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

'You sure know how to get under my Dad's skin.'

"Animal sacrifice isn't necessary, son. Just shake out a few dimes."

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."

First Church of Money: Today's Sermon 'Salvation Through Investment Income'.

St. Peter's Car Park - Pray and Display.

'Great sermon! Thanks for not mentioning me by name.'

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."

"Jesus couldn't be born in America because where would God find three wise men and a virgin?"