Joke Cracker Gifts

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

Chemistry Trash Talk: 'I heard your mama thinks Pasteurized milk was named for Louis Pasteurize.'

'It's probably a military school.'

'I got this medal for being a Navy Seal.'

"Ma'm, there's a fly in my soup!"

"D'ya wanna hear a secret? Well, keep it under your wrappings. . ."

"My trun!!"

"Relax, I was about to shout 'FORE'."

"When I was asking about how much memory you had left, it wasn't about you, Andrews!"

"This is about all I have in your price range."

The dart board from a dwarf sports bar.

'What kinda nuts are we, Dad, rightwing or left?'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

Insulting Cashpoint

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

Mall. Counter Intelligence. Very funny, Ernie --- Now put back the sign that says "Information Desk."

This next song is also about food. I probably don't even need to say that anymore, do I.

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"Too much green beer, Bob?"

"You're right- things are funnier in threes."

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Sorry, Kevin. You have given an incorrect command.'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Monkey Pee/Monkey Poo.