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Tragedy and Material

An Incendiary in the Loft

Comedy Rule

"That's not what I meant when I asked you to put him down. Now you've gone and hurt his feelings."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Snow Bridge.

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Town Planning Department

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'If the GPC built office blocks!'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Toy White House built incorrectly.

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Private work adjustments

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

'Pssst. Go play in your new fun house or you'll hurt daddy's feelings.'

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

"No, having your gingerbread house eaten by kids isn't covered."