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Spaced-based Weapons We Need Today

Fire Escapes

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"The Eggsorcist"

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

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'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Town Planning Department

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'If the GPC built office blocks!'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

Tragedy and Material

Comedy Rule

Private work adjustments

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'