Joining A Baseball Team Gifts

Perils of the double play.

'How long did you play in the cactus league?'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Football Fans

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Back to school.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

The Other Cooperstown

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.