John Lennon Fan T-Shirts

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

Johnny Winter.

"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"

Noah's Ark leaves pair of unicorns behind

"Reports now confirm that Abraham Lincoln has stopped turning over in his grave and is angrily burrowing his way to the White House."

"When I was a teenager 'Saturday Night Live' had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman..."

Horatio Nelson

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

"And whose bright idea was it to name him Daffy?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

"Nope. No mistake. You’ve been booked... forever."

Though it has never been proven, no one has ever denied that Abraham Lincoln had heat vision. Hmmm....

'Face it -- you'll NEVER catch up to Lady Godiva's approval rating.'

'My proposed legislation is based on the concept that 'a rising tide lifts all boats.''

Aliens pondering the attack on civilization: If we destroyed the human race, who would make all the wonderful movies about us.'

'Mentoring requires many sophisticates qualities and skills...'

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

"We've managed to track down the only person who has NOT recorded a duet with Elton John."

US Airforce.

"Seen my Brad Pitt mask?"

COVID19 ACE

Sony Dorkman

Felicity Rose Hadley Jones caricature

'Debates are great, but what really makes or breaks a candidate is an appearance on 'Saturday Night Live''.

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Dog star"