Jocular Jawbreaker Gifts

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Little help?"

"We have an acronym!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

A Bloody Butcher

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

Robot Jogger

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"It's a swearbox."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

Santas Key Deliverables.

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

Poisson d'Avril!

'I know it's a lot of money but we can't avoid it any longer.'

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

'The person you are trying to reach has moved to another desk and has left no forwarding extension.'

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

"This year I'm not asking for a raise...I'm going for a change in job title..."

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'