Jobbing Actors Pillows

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Joan Hickson

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

Stunt lemmings.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

'Are you free at the moment?'

'Therapy in L.A.'

Drama Llama

"Accepting for..."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

At the celebrity jobcentre...

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

Just a little heads up!

"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Janet Leigh

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."