Job Stability Celebration Gifts

"Thanks, it's hard to believe I've been with the company for a hundred and twenty quarters."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Danger Slow Sand.

i am just celebrating my 25th anniversary at novox nursery

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"Goodbye, Cruikshank. We leave you to contemplate the wisdom of messing with big dog!"

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

Our founder: Custard pies Ltd.

"Well, yes, we did have to downsize operations a bit ... "

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

"Rise. Genuflecting was only required during internship."

After party at the spill club.

"Oh, just great, Dick. How are things going with you?"

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

'If you only learn one thing while you're here kid, remember, the cherry filled ones are mine!'

I'll be back.

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

"I really enjoyed my job. Management found about it and fired me."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'Didn't you learn ANYTHING from all your years at school?' 'Em... Skiving'.

"We hired him for his soft paws - I mean soft skills."

"The Salvador Dali Museum does offer flex time to employees."

'I'm willing to relocate.'

'So...where do you see yourself in 5 minutes time?'

'Loosing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...'

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

"I'm really impressed with your work ethic."