Job Stability Celebration Gifts

"Thanks, it's hard to believe I've been with the company for a hundred and twenty quarters."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Danger Slow Sand.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

i am just celebrating my 25th anniversary at novox nursery

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

Our founder: Custard pies Ltd.

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"Goodbye, Cruikshank. We leave you to contemplate the wisdom of messing with big dog!"

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"Well, yes, we did have to downsize operations a bit ... "

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

After party at the spill club.

"Oh, just great, Dick. How are things going with you?"

'If you only learn one thing while you're here kid, remember, the cherry filled ones are mine!'

'Didn't you learn ANYTHING from all your years at school?' 'Em... Skiving'.

I'll be back.

"The Salvador Dali Museum does offer flex time to employees."

"We hired him for his soft paws - I mean soft skills."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'I'm willing to relocate.'

'So...where do you see yourself in 5 minutes time?'

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

'Loosing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...'

"The good news is that I'm still here after the boss cut our department by 33 percent."