Job Sharing Gifts

'I thought we agreed,one would do mornings and one the afternoons!'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Love is when you watch television together.

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

Working 9 to 5.

Getting through the week.

Two Players both holding the same cue.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

"I'm not worried about you, Henley. You'll land on your feet."

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

Doctor to man: 'You're a workaholic - you tested positive for elbow grease.'

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

The job is yours - I called your references and they all said you're a good boy.

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

"Take me home now!"

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

I like you Roger:- you've got sticktoitiveness.

"Am I a new parent? No, I'm a new Uber driver taking him to school."

"This is my first day. I don't have any yet."

"Your transfer comes with a bonus - 40 acres and a mule."

I avoided the layoff, but they transferred me to the high-wire act. At least it's steady work.

Clown-filled vehicle in the car pool lane

'The person you are trying to reach has moved to another desk and has left no forwarding extension.'

'Come in please, I have something I'd like to bounce off you!'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"What time is it mentally?"

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."