Job Seeking Enthusiast Pillows

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

The Three Wise Queens

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

'I received matching offers.'

"I know you're the quote, 'company's envelope orderer', but change the acronym."

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'