Job Hunt Aficionado Pillows

'We'll break right here for coffee and update our resumes.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

The Three Wise Queens

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'I received matching offers.'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

"I know you're the quote, 'company's envelope orderer', but change the acronym."

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'What went particularly well?'

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

'The Dow finally hit 10,000. Guess happy days are here again.'

"Tell us something we don't know."

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'