Job Seeker’s Confidant Pillows

'He's had a complete career shutdown....'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

How are you at decision making?

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"I don't like your application."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

In and Out Sourced.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Between Offices

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."