Job Seeker’s Confidant Pillows

'He's had a complete career shutdown....'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

How are you at decision making?

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

In and Out Sourced.

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"I don't like your application."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Between Offices

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."