Job Seeker Buddy Pillows

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

In and Out Sourced.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"I don't like your application."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Between Offices

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'