Job-related Comics Pillows

Office zombie.

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

What do you think of the application so far?

'I wanted you in a position where I felt you could grow.'

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

'Another sick note from your employer !'

In and Out Trays

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

'My assistant will show you the ropes.'

"No, sir, they don't come with the cubicle—you have to order the cubicle separately."

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

'I'm afraid he's a bit tied up right now'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

Lemon Flavored Water (Instead of Raises)

'How was my evaluation They really cut me down to size.'