Job-related Comics Pillows

Office zombie.

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

What do you think of the application so far?

'I wanted you in a position where I felt you could grow.'

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

'Another sick note from your employer !'

In and Out Trays

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"No, sir, they don't come with the cubicle—you have to order the cubicle separately."

'My assistant will show you the ropes.'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

'How was my evaluation They really cut me down to size.'

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

Lemon Flavored Water (Instead of Raises)

"Any talents besides tasting good?"