Business Comics Pillows

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"It's late. I am not getting into another heated discussion with you."

"Hold your questions until I've talked so long no one knows or cares what you're asking about."

'This company wants someone who can screw the clients but who is quite happy to be screwed by me.'

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

Office zombie.

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

'All of your references say you play well with others, but there's nothing in here about you actually doing any work.'