Corporate Comic Pillows

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'And the vote to have a unanimous consensus passed five to two.'

'I'd like to give a particularly warm welcome to those of you who are joining us from the southern hemisphere.'

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

"How's my presentation? Call 1-800-..."

'And this is our strategic planning department...'

'I've been disorientated since my employee orientation program.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

Substitute Chairman

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Binky will be roaming the halls, spreading his own brand of team spirit.'

Boardroom antics.

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"The headlock interjects playfulness into the boardroom while still maintaining the corporate hierarchy."

"And to end my presentation, here's a film clip of accounting department bloopers."

You are here.

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"Well, yesterday's 'brainstorming session' wasn't so much a storm as a very disappointing drizzle."

"Somebody fine tune Johnson."

'Job security's not great here so we tend to leave our coats on.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Well, that's fun! Just last week, one of your colleagues came in here to ask for a raise!'

'All in favor of banning Roger's kids from future board meetings...'

Punch and Judy Sales Conference

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

Profits and bonuses.

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"He offered me early retirement,"

"I've got to leave myself a little note to ask this guy who he is."

"Palmer, I want you to see to the legwork; Moscowitz, you'll be my eyes and ears."

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."