Job Loss Commentators Pillows

'My work/life balance is brilliant - I've lost my job and I haven't got a life'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

Spot the difference.

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Very Difficult Conversations

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Yes, can I help you?'

My brilliant career

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Danger Slow Sand.

Between Offices

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

St. Elmo's fired.

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."