Job Juggling Pillows

"I cased the joint, and it turns out they'll just give you money if you work thirty-five hours a week as a teller."

Recovery: New Job, Day One

"This is my first day. I don't have any yet."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Can do...No can do

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

Deadline

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Jason and the Aga notes,

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

"I figured my stress ball should match the size of my anxiety."

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"No, it's no mistake. There is no out."

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'