Job Juggling Enthusiast Pillows

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

"He's non union. He works days as a hunter, and nights as a gatherer."

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'If at first you don't succeed...have you ever thought of becoming a personnel officer?'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Balancing work and family

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

Brickie's Mate

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'