Job Juggernaut Gifts

'Go out and find a job! And while you're at it, see if you can find me a job too!'

"She's an ideal candidate, masochistic tendencies, no family, hobbies or interests, a private income and she hasn't slept since 2012..."

'I'm not married to my job - we're just shacked up!'

A mortgage and a shitty job-experience centre.

Next Place Heaven

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

Businessman wearing many hats.

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

The Jose Padilla Experience

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

The Working Mum

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

Medieval headlines.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."