Job Interview Jokers Gifts

'I'm a hunter, but I've been cross-trained in gatheriing.'

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

"We're able to use you, Crampton… everything but the 'oink'."

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

'I took the liberty of digitally enhancing my resume to make a mountain out of a mole hill.'

'Sorry, we just filled our Financial Analyst position, but we do have an opening in Sacrificial Lambs.'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

'Well... I guess it's time to look for a new job...'

"Oh yes, I'm very adept at using office machines. I can operate soda machines, candy machines, coffee machines..."

"Have you any OTHER questions apart from home soon you qualify to take sick leave?"

"Sorry...I overslept."

Banking Appointments

'Do you see yourself as a team player?'

'You are devious and deceitful.' - 'Thanks very much.'

'No thanks! Knowing what I'm supposed to be doing might throw me off.'

"Yes, we need someone to test a run of facial tissue. What makes you qualified?"

'This chicken has absolutely no taste, body or character.' - 'I thought you wanted to eat it, not offer it a job.'

Anything In Your Background a senate sub-committe would find interesting?

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

"You're hired, starting pay is twenty bucks an hour, later it can go up to thirty."

"I see high school, college, and business school, but I don't see obedience school."

"I see you're of good character."

"Congratulations! I think I have just the position for you."