Job Hunting Escapologist T-Shirts

"That vacancy for a 40k a year mattress tester doesn't exist...."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

'Good, I was hoping to catch you before you left.'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

For workers who are in need of a discreet spot to catch some Z's comes Napquest.

"If my husband finds out about us. . .listen, we must cover our tracks so well that no one believes that dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time!"

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

'I keep wondering what they're saying about us at the bank this cold,damp,Monday morning..'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

Danny always had trouble with math. (written on board: Ohio is the capital of Wisconsin.'

'Wait for me!'

"He came highly recommended – then again, it was a jury recommendation."

'Occasionally, one will escape its cubicle, which is why I have all my employees get an identification tattoo on the inside of their ears.'

Bob learned to redirect his pent-up fury. Rather than postal, he went coastal.

'I've had it with this job, I want to be a LUMBERJACK!!'

"I'm out if that is a manufacturer."

Dad was widely regarded as being unsuitable for younger viewers.

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'