Job Hunter Of The Cosmos Pillows

"Earthlings."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'Have you got a resume?'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"Do you have any other qualities to offer apart from loyalty?"

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

'For a raise you must apply in person to our Bombay office...'

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."

"Any other strengths?"