Job Hunter Of The Cosmos Pillows

"Earthlings."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'Have you got a resume?'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

Are you able to concentrate on your work? My mind wanders a lot but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

'For a raise you must apply in person to our Bombay office...'

"Do you have any other qualities to offer apart from loyalty?"

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"Any other strengths?"

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"