Job Creator Pillows

'I'd like a job as a job creator so I can create an easy, high paying job for myself.'

'Job creation department.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

How are you at decision making?

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Between Offices

In and Out Sourced.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."