Creative Job Applicant Pillows

'Feelings, nothing more than feeeelings that I'm right for this job.'

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Raincloud Umbrella

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

The Origami Society...

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

'I've lost my mojo, Marjorie.'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'

University of xylongatnyfexodyl never heard of it