Job Creation Advocate Pillows

'We're creating more green jobs from cleaning up our toxic spills.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

"Don't be irreplaceable, because if you can't be replaced...you can't be promoted."

'I need to find you a company with strong anti-discrimination policies...'

'The Human Right Act bans any cruel of unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite out ENTIRE staff care policy!'

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

Replaced by a Robot...

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

I'm his lawyer, here to defend inaccuracies in his resume.

'. . . but I didn't belong to the union, so a scab stole my job!!'

'We are an equal opportunity employer; but you're really pushing it.'

"Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it?"

"Jobs, jobs, jobs."

When the going gets tough... Then and Now

Make sure your CV stands out for the right reasons, and not the wrong ones.

Reforms to Employment Tribunals

'Job creation department.'

'Thank God you finally hired me...I couldn't keep up this absurd charade of bright-eyed enthusiasm one moment longer!'

Labor Day

'This is called waiting by the phone for months.'

"I went down to the state unemployment office like you said, Dad. I explained that I had no skills, no experience and no actual desire to work...I start working there Monday! They said I'd be perfect!"

"Sure, the economy's good for you. YOU have a job!!!"

"I don't want severance pay but I'm growing tired of sufferance pay."

Servant talking about his dismissal,

'I'm going out to create some jobs, if you know what I mean.'

'Sweetie, when we leave you every day with Sarah, we're doing it for you. That way we can have successful careers and you can be proud of us.'

R.I.P. American Manufacturing Jobs.