Jive Turkey Gifts

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Turkey Dinner and gravity

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

'This is just a holiday tradition - It's nothing personal.'

"I guess you weren't doing it right."

"Not a good sign. It's a box of pop-up thermometers."