Jittery Lover T-Shirts

"I love you, you big fool."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'I even love the way you snore!'

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

A lumberjack balances a felled tree on his axe

"Your being boring, stuffy and predictable is part of your charm."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

The British Society of Campanology...

"What did you expect from a budget airline?"

"He has a limited vocabulary - but boy, can he kiss..!"

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

"I found you running wild. Ungroomed and lacking social skills. Today, you're a trophy partner."

'Tonight'sTopStory:Somebodydummpedcaffeineinthecity'swatersupply!'

'You're a nice guy and all that, but I'm looking for somebody more symmetrical.'

The M.R.I. of Love

"Any family history of ragtime?"

'Yes, we do deliver to golf courses. What hole are you on?'

'Cool huh? My wife bought it at a yard sale.'

Stimulus Hunger: 'Every now and then, Roger likes to cut himself off from all stimulus.'

'Not more 'me time'?'