Jewelry Appreciation Gifts

"You know how some people feel naked without jewelry? Stewart is like that without a remote."

"You bastard! You've turned this into a conflict diamond."

'After 50 years at Bob's Gold Watches, we'd like to present you with... well this isn't going to seem too special...'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Diamond outfits

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

A Zircon Is Forever

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

"It was her mothers"

Posh Easter Egg

Cow and Milk

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

Will you be mine?