Jetsetter Food Critic T-Shirts

"At this time, if everyone would please switch their palates to airplane mode."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

Airport Bored Rooms

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Hell: The Airport"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'At least we're still in first class.'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"