Jetset Foodie Gifts

Man toasts his sausage in the fires of a plane engine.

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

Airport Bored Rooms

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Dog on a plane.

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'At least we're still in first class.'

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

"Bev sure takes the last leg literally."

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

"You're advised to check a small bag which you wouldn't mind losing as a sacrifice to the Gods of Lost Luggage."