Jetset Foodie Pillows

Man toasts his sausage in the fires of a plane engine.

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Airport Bored Rooms

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Dog on a plane.

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'At least we're still in first class.'

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"Bev sure takes the last leg literally."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

"You're advised to check a small bag which you wouldn't mind losing as a sacrifice to the Gods of Lost Luggage."