Jetset Junkie Pillows

"Going camping?"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Airport Bored Rooms

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Hell: The Airport"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

Airline Mergers.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

'At least we're still in first class.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"Bev sure takes the last leg literally."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"Have you decided where to travel?"

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List