Jetset Junkie T-Shirts

"Going camping?"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

Airport Bored Rooms

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Hell: The Airport"

Airline Mergers.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'At least we're still in first class.'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"Have you decided where to travel?"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"