Jet Lag Survivors Gifts

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

'I decided not to migrate because I get jet lag.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

Heavy Traffic.

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

'Sounds like another sat nav mistake, you had better put the kettle on dear!'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

"The tests came back positive. You're H2O intolerant."

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

Asthma cats

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

"Damn it, Henderson, New York is still three hours ahead of us. Get on that!"

You're too young to be worrying about SAT tests. But I have to score well to get a good job someday. In the real world, no one hires people who're only good at multiple choice questions. Actually, Nana

The effect of impotency pills in our water.

Seniority Scanner App

Pollen's Side of the Story

"It's OK, it's just pee."

If you're reading this, your sat nav system has failed.

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

Poor kid can't move. Parka-plegic.

'Tough winter.'

'Tony is allergic to the cat.'

Hay Fever Preventives.

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

"I can't take winter anymore!"

Silver lining! It's our luggage the airline lost last year!

Winter Surrender

"Hi, scheduling? I've only got 60 seconds, so I'll make this quick..."