Jesting Knight Mugs

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Throw me back and I'll tell you where a 12-pounder is hiding.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"I got probation."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

Justice

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."