Jealousy Humor Fan Pillows

"That top isn't very forgiving."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

10 K Tail-Chase

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

The Snooze Bar.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Winter Weather.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'More government surveillance!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

No, I don

tRUMp, Pirate President

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."