Jealousy Aficionados Pillows

'No fooling around. I'm a very jealous guy.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Tongue in the ear...

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Pie chart of pub conversations

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Geekasaurus.

"So. . . how long have people NOT been laughing at you. . . ?"

"It's not what you think."

"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Sex-on-the-Beach?"

"Inside me there's a juggler struggling to get out."

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

Santa Enjoys Venison.

"I hate when this happens."

'I know you're falling for her, but be careful. Remember: Love is blinders.'

'I decided I need something to draw the eye away from my bald patch.'

Love Song of the Baby Boomer.

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

Shear Love.