Jealousy Pillows

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

'Okay, so I'll ask someone else to marry me!'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"It's not what you think."

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'No fooling around. I'm a very jealous guy.'

"She's cute, but she's eroding my power base."

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

'Simon! No! We really were just fooling around!'

'They've got everything...one even has it's own shed.'

'Get your hands off my husband.'

"Comparison is the thief of joy, Mittens."

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

'Don't mind him. He's just an 'X' who's jealous of 'U'.'

"How the mighty have fallen!"

'How many times have I told you that even if students like them better than you, you can't vaporize substitute-teachers when you return?'

"Oh he's just lucky, and a robot."

"That's Bill Swenson. He got very big after he left us."

'If'n you don't stop talkin' to my honey, I'm gonna come down and kick the stuffin' outta you.'

'And if I so much as look at another man, he goes ballistic!'

'What if he gets so thin that other women notice him?'

Dog thinking: 'This lap isn't big enough for the two of us.'

Jealous centaur.

'I'm Sally, your waitress for tonight, and this is Hugo, my insanely jealous boyfriend.'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"That top isn't very forgiving."

Cat hissing at laptop computer.

'I'm not saying my wife is cheating, but she's sure hot to practice CPR on my friends.'