Jazz Connoisseur Gifts

A trumpet player

Musical Pipe

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Cocktails on the verandah.

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Felix Mendelssohn

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'He likes to power nap.'

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

Archimedes statue with a lever

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Baroque Peacock

The Trojan Beagle.

The Snarky District

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Emergency Phone.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."