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We need more men --- Call up the preserves! (Published originally on 5/7/2004).

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

"'Fried Ham' on 3..."

Guitarist: 'We can freely improvise some other time ... now let's practise.' (With Derek it was always jam tomorrow)

Saxophonist playing on the map of Cornwall.

Jerry Garcia, RIP

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

I play the guitar. Deal with it.

Around the piano

Preserved

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

Two people play the guitar and harmonica.

Blues guitarists gather at the crossroads

'I like jazz rock fusion. It's the kind of music we'd compose if we had music.'

We try to keep our jam making expertise quiet!

'Now you tell me that you're only a doctor of music!'

Cottage Industry

Back to the '80s: Pumping up the jam.

Apricot flavoured traffic 'jam'...on toast.

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'

"Gus... you'll have to learn another chord."

"The Toast Whisperer"

'Niche market'

"I'm in the Bbm7 of my discontent."

George Melly.

'Nice! And what other interests do you have besides jamming?'

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

Guitarist

We need more men --- Call up the preserves!

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

Homemade Jam.

"Play dead!"

'Are you licking me or the jam on my face?'

"Thanks for sitting through the encore."