Jailbreak Jokers Gifts

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"White Collar Prison"

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

Well, I don't know who sent it and quite frankly, Marilyn, I don't care. I only know that we're about to taste sweet freedom, baby.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

Police Lineup Escape

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

Sweet Jailbreak

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"You're allowed one facebook posting."

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

"The brochure said escape to Tahiti, so here I am."

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

"I think I'm just going to sit this recession out."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"There's a rumour going round that one of you is planning an escape."

Love in prison.

Man escaping prisoner via feng shui

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

"You guys go ahead—I'm an inside cat."

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."