Jailbreak Comedian Pillows

"When my sister got sent to jail, she beat up two people then went on hunger strike."

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Police Lineup Escape

Prisoner Crossing

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

Sweet Jailbreak

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"You're allowed one facebook posting."

"The brochure said escape to Tahiti, so here I am."

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"I think I'm just going to sit this recession out."

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'I had the cops all bribed, but I completely forgot about the stupid superheroes!'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'Well, I hope you're a people person -- the prisons are very overcrowded.'

"You guys go ahead—I'm an inside cat."

At least you have security!

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Man escaping prisoner via feng shui

"There's a rumour going round that one of you is planning an escape."

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'