Jail Joker Pillows

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"Repeat after me..."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

'I got 10 years and my lawyer got 15!'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

Sweet Jailbreak

"C'mon man, you got the wrong species."

A confinement of convicts

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'Hey, it won't be so bad -- why, I'm doing community service myself right now.'

TOO SLOW

Basketball Players Working Together

Low Class Action Suit

Decision on the flip of a coin...