Jackhammer Operator Gifts

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Boptimism

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

Travelling

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

D.I.Y with dad.

Moving in

'A few messages came in during your lunch break.'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

Brickie's Mate

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

"You seem to be balancing your workload well."

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"