Ivy League Hopefuls Pillows

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

Not The Real Me

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

Man and woman surrounded by ivy.

Yale shadow

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

"I think it's unquestionably the finest letter you've ever written to the 'Yale Alumni Magazine.'"

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

2 Guys from Harvard - Attorney-at-Law

Bumper Sticker Show Off.

"I'm going to Princeton!"

'The teacher gave me a 'B' for coloring outside the lines. At this rate, I'll never get into Harvard!'

"Well, no, but I always rooted for them."

Brown - But My First Choice Was Yale.

"I went to a school is Boston."

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"He said his first word, 'Harvard'."

'Perfect, Lance! You couldn't be preppier!'

'Well, this is your lucky day, Sheedy.Go in for Moore... He just blew out his knee.'

Banked on a college degree without an NBA career to fall back on.