Future Ivy Leaguer Pillows

'The teacher gave me a 'B' for coloring outside the lines. At this rate, I'll never get into Harvard!'

"I want to leave my body to Harvard. It's the only way I'll ever get in."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

Yale shadow

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

Boy holding football.

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

"And you thought I couldn't find Hudson River views in your price range."

"I think it's unquestionably the finest letter you've ever written to the 'Yale Alumni Magazine.'"

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in T.V. commercials!'

2 Guys from Harvard - Attorney-at-Law

'...But my stupid parents said no!!'

"I'm going to Princeton!"

"Well, no, but I always rooted for them."

Brown - But My First Choice Was Yale.

"I went to a school is Boston."

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."