Itinerary Master T-Shirts

'I can book your reservations now. I'm checking the linings for airline arrivals, departures, bankruptcies...'

Tourists

Airlines

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

Planned service changes

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"It looks brighter over there!"

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."