Isolated Chatter Gifts

At lunchtime he carried on extensive fax conversations with himself.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

Cable Bill.

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

Hot Line

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

Arbitrageur in Exile

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

Ramblers Association

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.

"I was quarantined at home. I snuck out and now I'm under house arrest."

Two People on Deserted Islands.

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.

"After so many years of marriage what are you getting for your anniversary?"

What happens in vagueness stays in vagueness.

"Evil? No, no, haven't heard anything, definitely haven't seen any, so I can't really say anything more about it."

'If I get a bad grade on a test, I wait until my mom is on the phone, then I show it to her.'

'Let's go somewhere where we can text each other.'

"I've used the "Call of the Wild" excuse to escape for a few days: my mother-in-law is visiting..."

'I drink to forget.' 'Forget what?' 'I don't remember.'

'You skimmed my tweet.'

"This is Donald. Donald's a friend. Not a real friend-just a Facebook friend."